Recently, I met someone who told me that he drank about three 6-packs every evening. Some nights he drank 24 beers.

I told him that I would not judge him for doing this. I also told him that I would not tell him to stop drinking 18 or 24 beers a night.

I said to him that there probably already lots of people in his life who were telling to not to drink so much. I would not be one of those people.

I also said to him, "I bet you have a real good reason for drinking 18 to 24 beers a night. I would be interested in hearing your reasons."

There was silence for a few minutes. The there was a torrent of tears and anger and sadness for thirty minutes about his life.

My friend is trying to bury (or anethesize) twenty-five years of pain. This is the only coping mechanism he knows.

We have spent time since that talk - he is drinking less. He has found a listener in me. He is making new plans for his life. He is no longer trying to bury the pain.

My friend is not alone. There are many people in your world and my world who are trying to bury their pain - some use alcohol (still the preferred choice of most people), others use drugs (legal and illegal), sex, gambling, internet porn, work and relationships.

Is there a cure? Yes, there is.

It begins with honesty. The first step of the 12 step program asks us to admit that we are powerless and our lives are unmanageable.

It takes humility to admit that we have used things and people to help bury our pain. We express our humility when we invite one person or a group of persons to hear our confession of the abuse of subtances and relationships to cover our pain. Finding a counselor or a support group who will support us in dealing with the root issues of the heart is key to recovery.

If you struggle as I have with deep emotional pain in your life, I hope you will discover as I have that I can send this lie to hell - "I can bury my pain!"

(c) 2007 Ronald Friesen