(A blogstream blogger placed a blog recently with the above line. This blog is written as my thoughts about that line. Thank you.)

"I am always going to be stuck in this marriage."

"I am always going to be poor."

"I give up. I am going to just suck up life and hang in there!"

"This is as good as it gets!!!"

A few years ago, I was living 'a stuck life.' My career felt as if walking through an endless maze of a grocery aisles - nothing appealed to me. It was boring and unexciting. All I saw was an endless repetition of activities that no longer held any meaning or purpose. My income was going backwards. I was envious of friends who were moving up the ladder. Loneliness shuttered my life. Options were like pushing on locked doors. Nothing seemed to be moving. I was stuck. I was thinking, "This is as good as it gets."

One of the techniques used in counseling is to ask a client, "If you were to give advice to someone in similar circumstances what advice would you give?" I took some time, sat down and asked myself this question.

Here is another question that provokes new thinking, "If you were planning to start this job/relationship in a three weeks, what dreams and plans would you have for this career/relationship?"

Using these questions I began to draw up some new plans for my life. I resigned my job. I took three jobs to replace the one job that had lost its excitement. (Juggling three jobs will keep you from being bored! - I couldn't find one job to pay the bills.) Looked at my relationships, I began to do the things that I had done in the beginning of those relationships to put some spark into them. I took the new energy into my new jobs and began to develop new programs which lead to the careers that I have today.

If you had asked me 15 year ago if I would counsel children and teens - I would have laughed at you. Today I love the kids and adolescents who find their way to my office. If you had asked me 30 years ago if I would want to work in a level 1 trauma unit and would embrace the chaos and blood and tears - I would have told you that you were crazy because I hated smell of hospitals! For many years I volunteered (without pay) to come to the local hospital at 2 AM to sit with broken hearts, bodies and minds. Today people seek out my expertise and life-experience as I teach at a local university as well as community organizations.

I can testify that "This is as good as it gets" is a huge lie of hell and needs to be sent back to there!

If you are saying to yourself, "This is as good as it gets! - send this lie to hell!

(c) 2006 Ronald Friesen